| "The Metropolitan Police today denied that prisoners in their custody are excessively pampered. This follows yesterday's report that a man was hustled out of New Scotland Yard with an electric blanket over his head." |  |
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"And we’ve just heard that a juggernaut of onions has shed its load all over the M-1. Motorists are advised to find a hard shoulder to cry on." |
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"Following the dispute with the domestic
servants' union at Buckingham Palace today, the queen, a radiant figure
in a white silk gown and crimson robe, swept down the main staircase and
through the hall. She then dusted the cloak room and vacuumed the lounge."
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"After a series of crimes in the Glasgow area, Chief Inspector McTavish has announced that he's looking for a man with one eye. If he doesn't find him, he's going to use both eyes." |
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"The perfect crime was committed last
night, when thieves broke into Scotland Yard and stole all the toilets.
Police say they have absolutely nothing to go on."
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"And we've just heard that in the English Channel, a ship carrying red paint has collided with a ship carrying purple paint. It is believed that both crews have been marooned." |
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